What's really going on with Dakota Fanning...

She's a descendant of a love tryst between two of the original Munchkins in the Wizard of Oz, and tragically, will not get any taller, only less cute and more shriveled.

Katie Couric is suing her for stealing her saccharine elfin likeness and using for it good, not evil.

She's a smurf.

Her I.Q. may be 145, but her cholesterol is 322.

Her father built her out of pieces of his 1967 Karmann Ghia, Baby Tender Love and hair from My Pretty Pony.

She's actually a 52 year old midget, named Gary, inside a Dakota Fanning suit. (If you look closely, you can see the zipper)

She's successfully hooked on phonics.